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Heavy is the Homestead: Emotions, Hard Decisions and Death


Homesteading is a way of life that’s both rewarding and challenging, requiring resilience, patience, and a strong family bond. Today, I wanted to share some of the tough decisions, emotional experiences, and inevitable losses that have shaped our family’s journey on the homestead. Homesteading brings a unique perspective on life, death, and the importance of honoring the animals that sustain us. As my friends and family often say, “I couldn’t do that part of homesteading.” It’s true; the difficult moments make the rewarding ones so much sweeter.


A mother and her young daughter collecting eggs from a chicken coop, illustrating family bonding and hands-on homesteading.

Building Emotional Resilience with Animals on the Homestead

Each animal on our homestead has a purpose, and with that purpose comes a different kind of emotional attachment. For animals raised as a food source, like our meat chickens, we approach them with gratitude for the role they play in sustaining us. When we first raised meat chickens, we taught our kids to respect the animals, even if they wouldn’t be with us long. One moment sticks out—my six-year-old jokingly startled the chickens, then said, “That’s what you get!” It was clear we needed to communicate that we value these animals' lives, even if they are destined for our table. Teaching our children to appreciate this balance has helped us all build respect for the natural cycle.


Teaching Children the Hard Realities of Farm Life

Every family that chooses homesteading must face tough moments, and it’s especially challenging with young children. My son Drew had a hard time processing the loss when we butchered our turkeys. We explained beforehand that Tom, our largest turkey, was a food source, but it didn’t make it easier when he witnessed the process. In time, Drew grew to understand the cycle better, even taking pride in explaining to others, “We’re eating Tom.” It’s a learning curve for kids, but one that has deepened our family’s connection to homesteading.

"Three young turkeys sitting on the lawn, showing livestock on a family homestead.

You can learn more about the emotional journey of raising animals for meat and how it shapes life on the homestead from The Modern Day Settler. ( https://themoderndaysettler.com/the-emotional-toll-of-raising-an-animal-for-meat/ )


Respecting Nature’s Process on the Homestead

For many homesteaders, it’s a natural instinct to protect their animals and minimize suffering. However, we’ve come to understand that nature’s way can be harsher. From chickens lost to raccoons to predatory threats against our barn cats, the homestead sometimes reminds us that the natural world can be brutal. In many ways, the homestead offers a more peaceful end for animals than nature’s approach, reminding us to respect the cycles of life and death without projecting human emotions onto our livestock.


Close-up of a white chicken in a garden, with a family in the background, capturing a homesteading scene.

Making the Difficult Decisions: Downsizing and Adjusting the Homestead

Running a homestead on a small plot has required us to make some hard decisions about which animals to keep. This past winter, our one-acre property couldn’t sustain the 38 chickens we had accumulated, so we needed to either expand our coop or reduce the flock. I kept a few favorite hens and a rooster, but ultimately culled others to keep our homestead sustainable. These were once pets, making this a particularly emotional decision, but it’s part of managing a working homestead. Balancing sentimentality with practicality is an ongoing lesson in homesteading.



Understanding the Realities of Raising Animals for Meat

As we raised different breeds of meat chickens, we faced many challenges. There were times we had to make tough calls, like putting down a chick with a broken leg or helping chicks that struggled after hatching. These experiences taught us to respect the natural order and make humane choices, knowing that the homestead environment offers these animals a good life.


Admitting When Things Aren’t Working

In homesteading, it’s crucial to recognize when something doesn’t work and adjust accordingly. Our ducks were initially ideal for pest control and fertilization, but they quickly created a mess on our limited property. When it became clear they were harming the ecosystem we worked so hard to build, we made the difficult decision to rehome them. Letting go of the ducks brought unexpected peace, a lesson in knowing when to pivot.


The House & Homestead has some helpful tips for handling those homesteading stressors we all know too well.

Chickens eating fresh leaves from a farmer's hand in a sunlit homestead environment.

Dealing with Loss and Celebrating Life on the Homestead

Homesteading comes with loss. We’ve lost barn cats to predators and seen livestock perish unexpectedly. These experiences, as challenging as they are, deepen our appreciation for the life cycles happening all around us. Each loss brings us closer as a family, teaching us resilience and adaptability. We’ve learned to embrace the good moments while understanding that life on the homestead includes hardship.


Growing Together as a Family

Through these tough times, our family has become stronger. Homesteading has taught us, and especially our children, that setbacks and challenges can be overcome. These experiences have pushed us beyond our limits, bringing growth, happiness, and a deeper connection to our way of life.


Learn ways to maintain emotional health and avoid burnout while managing a homestead, from the Backyard Farming Connection.


-Kelsey Webber-



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